Rattled CasaJP Site Director Recovers from Obliteration of Site, Reveals date for Relaunch

By CRB1, Staff Writer

Brooklyn, Wednesday, May 24, 2000-In the wake of CasaJP's hideous wholesale destruction earlier this year at the hands of Cox@home, in which the established good faith ISP slash subscriber relationship turned suddenly internecine, members of the Casa community have begun looking ahead to a brighter future for their decimated digital home. The waters swirling around this interactive romper room have indeed settled and, recently, an audible rumbling has been detected just below the surface. According to sources deep (and not quite so deep) within CasaJP, the glorious and much anticipated relaunch of the Casa is, like, "really, really close."

Speaking yesterday with Bird, site director and orchestrator of both the seminal and secondary manifestations of the Casa, his remorse and confusion over his ruined opus became quite clear. Ducking the meatiest chunks of this reporter's inquiry, Bird skirted culpability issues regarding the delay in relaunch, stating, "I've been busier than a puppy with two peters." Citing both business travel and a sore neck as excuses, Bird continued "I have been travelling every week and working all weekend for the last month, so I have had little time to work on CJP," but added, "I will devote many hours to getting it up this weekend."

One might ask, "what do turgid genitals have to do with the redesign and relaunch of CasaJP?"

Regardless, all accounts point toward a stunning relaunch of the site any moment between tomorrow and June 5, 2000. Replete with new content, CasaJP promises to please its loyal readership and woo new visitors. In addition to the reincarnation of all the popular content from the sweet, dead Casa of old, readers may look for Leyden's Log, an eye-opening sports column, new contributions from resident gas-huffer and gonzo lunatic, Pindeldyboz, and a disjointed and nebulous column by CRB1. Perhaps tantamount to all of this, however, will be the rebirth of the 'nut, "the stickiest of the sticky: a place to stick fingers or boot."

Bird, sitting on his couch and sealing his orifices with Flinstones brand Band-Aids, concluded the interview with a snippet of sobering advice regarding relaunch. "I like to couch things in vague terms, in case things get a little crazy." But all lights are green, all signs say GO, and relaunch is nearly here. Stay tuned.

To reach JP, email him at: eljefe@casajp.com

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