HOLLYWOOD, March 25

Charles Coy completed his Oscar Pool three-peat
tonight by clawing his way from behind to best
strong showings by Indira Smith and Shana Furlow.

Coy's victory was a slim one -- beating out Ms.
Smith by a single point.

The totals (see the end for a more comprehensive
scoring breakdown):

1. C$ 21
2. Indira 20
3. Shana 19
4. KLO 17
5. Shane 14
6. Dan 12
7. Jammer 9

The big story of the night is Mr. Coy's third
consecutive championship.  If ever there was a
time to inject the word "dynasty" into the
dialogue, that time is now.  Mr. Coy also took a
first place finish at the recent Golden Globe
Awards warm-up pool.

The victory was Mr. Coy's most difficult and
hard-fought.  With three categories remaining,
Shana was in the driver's seat, with a two-point
lead.  Almost everyone in the pool had
"Gladiator" as Best Picture, so it came down to
Writing (Original) and Best Director, both
two-point categories.

Ms. Furlow's selection of "You Can Count On Me"
for Writing signaled the Queen's fall.  Mr. Coy
correctly chose Cammy Crowe and pulled into a tie
for the lead with only Best Director left as a
disputed category.

The tension in the room before the announcement
could've been cut with a razor-sharp butcher's
cleaver employing huge overhead swinging form.

Mr. Coy had selected the underdog Soderbergh for
Traffic.  Ms. Furlow had the odds-on favorite Ang
Lee for "Spitting Chicken, Lethargic Panther." 
The winner in this category would determine the
cash flow.

Upon the announcement of Soderbergh's name, Mr.
Coy leapt from his seat and started pounding Ms.
Furlow's head into the floor with joy.  He was
screaming, "I won, motherfucker!!  I fucking won,
all you dumbass motherfuckers!!  Ha ha ha ha!!"

The other big story of the night was Indira
Smith, who finished strongly in second place
after mopping up the bottom-of-the-barrel with
Chris Dorment for the last two years.  Ms. Smith
was overheard saying, "My shit don't stink around
here no more."

Krispy Lowe continued her reign in the
"almost-near-the-top" category.  Ms. Lowe's
encyclopedic knowledge of film seems only to hurt
her in these mindless games.

Shane "Son Of Sam" Tobin scored very solidly in
the Big Eight Categories, being one of only two
contestants to pick Russel "Asshole" Crowe to
take the Best Actor trophy.  Shane's other picks
were not nearly so prescient, including the
disastrous selection of Joan Allen for Best
Actress.

Dan "Sweet Daddy" Notkin made some questionable
picks in the Visual FX and Sound Editing
categories on the way to a sixth-place showing.

Scott "Scott" Jampol played respectably to a
last-place showing.  His selection of "Surly
Donkey, Kneeling Moose" for Best Picture and "A
Soccer Story" for Short (Live Action) led to the
rookie's fall.  He remains a successful man in a
few other regards.

In all it was a very elegant and robust Oscar
Pool, providing a huge amount of drama right down
to the wire.  Ms. Lowe summed it up best, "It was
a solid night.  Good picks all around.  These
things are always so unpredictable.  Coy is a
fucking twit.  He gets lucky.  He cheats.  He'd
sell his sister for a can of Cactus Cooler.  The
guy's a complete fucking dick.  It's going to be
a long week for that little bitch.  Sleep in your
own God-forsaken bed, loser.  Thanks."

SCORING DETAIL (correct answers)

Name (First Page Score, Second Page Score, Total)
(Note: top eight categories are weighted for 2
points)

Chooch (8 of 11, 7 of 12 = 15 of 23) 
Indira (8/11, 6/12 = 14/23)
Shana (7/11, 8/12 = 15/23)
KLO (6/11, 7/12 = 13/23)
Shane (6/11, 3/12 = 9/23)
Daniel (4/11, 6/12 = 10/23)
Jammer (4/11, 3/12 = 7/23)