SEPTEMBER 24, 2000: THE 'GAMES'
Well, it is now officially not summer any more. And as you probably all know, the Summer Olympics are in full effect. If any of you are anything like me, your experience with the 2000 Summer Olympics has consisted of fleeting, time-delayed glimpses of tot-like pint-sized athletes tumbling energetically across the matt like circus acrobats on horse hormones. Since the games are broadcast conveniently in primetime, it makes for a handy commercial break from the other programming on other stations.

In the broadcast medium, we have had to deal with sensitive comments from Bob Costas (who, by the way, is an extraordinarily small man) in addition to hand-selected "best-of" clips from events which occurred more than half a day ago. To add to our enjoyment of the Games, NBC has taken great pains to research tragic events in the lives of Olympic athletes which, more often than not, culminate with the shattering of their life-long dreams in exactly one one-hundredth of a second.

Print coverage, on the other hand, has been very matter-of-fact, aside from snickering comments about how timely the reporting is and tongue-in-cheek comparisons with the billion-dollar coverage offered by NBC. I cannot count on my fingers how many articles I've read about the time-delayed nature of NBC's coverage. Frankly, who gives a damn, really. The NY Times actually ran an article which offered a mathematical formula which could accurately predict which countries would win and with how many medals, based on GNP, population and other economic indicators.

I guess what I like most about the 2000 Summer Games is that, unlike other sporting events, this one comes around every four years so that I am finally on a level playing field with my hyper-American sports fanatic friends. Meaning: for this brief period of time, I do not have to nod my head politely when people start spouting off about RBIs and ERAs and IRAs and other assorted acronyms accumulated in a lifetime of being a male in the USA. For this short time I am just as knowledgeable about sports as anyone else. There is no feeling stupid because I don't know who Johnny Unitas is. Nor do I have to act like I know that the 'Niners won a super bowl in the mid 80's. It's great. I can also get away with talking knowledgeably about sports without worrying about saying things like "offensive linebacker" or "scoring a point" in baseball.

Olympics or not, CasaJP must go on...

THE OTHER END OF NOWHERE: A MANHATTANITES GUIDE TO THE OUTER BOROUGHS
Despite the longish title, this concise new column offers a unique perspective which counters the "Manhattan: Capital of the Universe" mentality. The column, which will appear on a bi-weekly basis, is penned by the world-renowned urban anthropologist team of Rob Maitra and Wade Nacenovich who are actually on loan to us from the Greater Ohio Museum of Modern Man. They will focus on things that one can do--should one choose to--in any four of the outer boroughs of New York City. Our first installment takes us to Queens where we learn how great an Italian Ice can be at the end of a long summer. Go to THE OTHER END OF NOWHERE

MISSING BOTTOMS
The unique and sometimes strange brand of humor offered by Shane "the Congressman" Tobin, surfaces again, this time in a retelling of a legend about what lurks deep within the bowels of Lake Tahoe. Go to MISSING BOTTOMS

LA STORIES
Check out LA STORIES as Charlie quickly recounts running into his latest celebrity.

NEXT TIME
THE OTHER END OF NOWHERE will continue to focus on things you might not know about the outter boroughs. IN YOUR FACE will debut, which will be a unique place where one can go if one wants to be berated, humiliated or otherwise be torn down to one's basic elements. It will be moderated (or instigated) by Woodrow Moore. MISSING BOTTOMS & THE 1 CARD may or may not offer something new.

We are currently experiencing some technical difficulties with our video documentary on Smooth Moves Laxative Herbal Tea. It has been finished but current resides on the hard drive of a Sony Vaio belonging to our video editor. Once we figure out how to post it, you will be the first to know, as I've heard that it is f-ing funny.

That's pretty much it, for now.